Turning Your Worst Enemy Into Your Best Teacher

PHoto credit: craig neal

PHoto credit: craig neal


Seeing conflict as a birthing process...

Deidre Combs has spent decades obsessing about conflict. From her early family days, being one of four sisters, to her 12-year stint at IBM, she's plumbed the depths of what conflict is all about. My one-hour interview with Deidre was one of the most intriguing ever. How does one see conflict as a birthing process? As a Minnesotan, like many other cultures, we're bred to avoid conflict at all costs—to move through life with stoic resolve. What the hell is so frightening about conflict?

On tonight's VisionHolder Conversation, Deidre wowed us with all sorts of stories of her childhood, her corporate life, her spiritual journey. ultimately, the wisdom of conflict is almost of a spiritual practice. There is something so simple about breathing, getting centered, being human. seeing your partner not as an adversary, but as a teacher. The art of holding paradox, and letting go of our positions and opinions.

Whoa, whoa — way easier said than done. when you're totally engaged in oppositional politics, you've just lost your job—what do you want to do?

According to Deidre, "We are all participating- the living being is alive to figure things out. We need this bouncing and pushing and prodding." Intriguing.

How do you resolve conflict? What learnings does it hold for you? Share your stories on how conflict has transformed your life — or not! Simply hit the "Comments" link below and give us your thoughts.

-Craig


THE GREAT REMEMBERING

PHoto credit: craig neal

PHoto credit: craig neal


A conversation-starting essay by Craig Neal

In1963 my first remembering came spontaneously at the civil rights march “on” Washington DC, in which Martin Luther King delivered his legendary I Have a Dream speech. Although transfixed by the moment as I stood swaying with the crowd on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, it was the throngs of people I turned to during the speech that triggered my memory of a prior state, a remembering of the human condition as that of love in motion and therefore catalyzing my life’s purpose into motion.

We’ve all had those moments of awakening or remembering, some fleeting as if from a dream, where we know and feel connected in a visceral sense to all things, human and otherwise. Then, for most, we return to the “real world” where day to day life resumes.

What if these moments were the reality in which we were born to live, and that what if these episodes are the great remembering of what it truly is to be human? What if the Hopi elders are right when they say in their prophecy that we all are “the ones we have come to find”? What if you are the wonder and gift to the world you dream about in the sweet dreams of your solitude?

In spring of 2004 I was accepted as a writing fellow at a writers refuge to work on a book that had been brewing in me since starting the Thought Leader Gatherings (TLG)* in 1998. Many had asked me for the recipe for how we created the dynamic dialogue form used in the TLG meetings. The common take away of these “leadership development” sessions is a heightened sense of communion* with a diverse group of people based on conversations of living our lives as if we matter, integrating who we are with what we do.

Midway into the retreat, while writing about my experience at the 1963 march, I suddenly broke into sobs of joy and revelation, feeling waves of love and gratitude for that time, myself and a sense of complete integration with all things. The room glistened, my pulse quickened, I saw and felt from the core of my existence the interconnectedness of all things my “self” as an integral part of the whole matrix of life. A great remembering of who I REALLY am. Whew!

What came next was a flowing out of writing over the next several days of what is now the curriculum of The Art of Convening Trainings (AoC). Rather than a book, a living training in which I would engage people from all over the world, by telephone, in a conversation about what it means to remember our essential selves in  relationship to one another and the world into which we have been born.

Now 2 years and 21 groups into the AoC, this conversation has been and is being had with over 200. We ask to “listen ourselves and one another into being,” strengthening our internal and external listening muscles for the sometimes faint voice of our own awakened selves. We reveal to one another and ourselves our birthright of each human as complete and accomplished beings. This is a conversation of the Great Remembering.

photo credit: pexels.com

photo credit: pexels.com

Last month I joined 13 men over 50 years old for an “inventure” journey/safari to Tanzania, trekking into 3 tribal lands as new elders, to meet and share with male elders of these tribes about what it means to hold a purpose and vision for our people and ourselves. Remembering together our humanness for a shared future.

On one of the evenings while visiting the Hadza, a hunter gatherer people, we assembled on a large rock with 10 Hadza elder men to hear their “creation story” of how the Hadza came into being on this land in the south Serengeti plains. Led by 94-year-old Kampala, they wove a story unbroken over tens of thousands of years of their people, the land, its inhabitants and, most importantly, the nature of their connectedness to all things.

Their lives are an continuous cycle of interrelated and interdependent relationships with the land, animals, the elements and humans. Indistinguishable and in rhythm. Their remembering is current and deep as an aquifer running swift and clean beneath the surface of our lives.

In their story we, too, were called to our essential selves, to remember our nature and purpose as humans.

Now sitting on a plane 40,000 feet over the Rockies, I wonder what shall call to us from the depth of our yearning our true selves?

What is it you wish to remember about who you are, why you are here, and to whom or what you belong?


Imagining ourselves into a world that works

PHoto credit: craig neal

PHoto credit: craig neal


What do we need to do to change the world?

Imagine ourselves into the future: imagine a vision for a world that works for most of the beings on the planet. Imagine that an ever-larger network of people each with an ever-larger network, can all connect to bring this vision to a critical mass.

It’s about waking up to see each other and take action together. It's about each of us finding our vision and bringing it to the world. Vision in action.

It's about relationships, connectedness, seeing no separation. We - can - do - this. Read this story to learn more about imagining as a tool to bring vision to action.

What are your imaginings, your stories, for how we will imagine ourselves into the future? Add your comments below!


On Being Ordinary

PHoto credit: craig neal

PHoto credit: craig neal


A Conversation with an Extraordinary Woman

What if it all just meant being present to one another in the moment: in our daily lives, in our neighborhoods, our communities and beyond? What if global transformation just meant living a good life, doing the right thing, walking around the lake on a spring day, loving your children, being in integrity with who you know you are meant to be, having the courage to live your values openly and honestly with whomever you are with.

My conversation with Nina Utne tonight wasn't our normal VisionHolder call. It was more an informal dialogue with an old friend. We talked of big ideas and small actions, of serving our communities and the world in one fell swoop. There is no difference between serving self, family, community than of the high-mindedness of changing or serving the world.

How are you serving those around you? How is serving yourself serving the world? Hit the "Comment" button below and start the conversation. We want to know what you think, what you are facing and feeling.


Connecting the Dots

PHoto credit: craig neal

PHoto credit: craig neal


Friend Steve Borsch of Connecting the Dots stopped by yesterday. Steve, a visionary of those trying to get their heads around the future of Web 2.0, has been musing and seeking to understand the cultural and societal impacts of the next generation internet. The interest is to use "societal software" to create a "participation culture." The local and global connections are coming fast and furious. Sites, products, and people all want your attention. Where does discernment and collective wisdom enter into the conversation?

Within this emerging culture, there is the opportunity to recognize and nurture the concept of essential conversations--conversations that matter, that bring people together in dialogue not debate (see post below), bring people to true presence, which brings the conversation to purpose.  A book that we've been recommending for a while is Presence: Human Purpose and the Field of the Future (Senge, Jaworski, Flowers, Scharmer). Understanding the view of creating wholeness in each venture, conversation and exchange, can create the field for completely new understandings of organizational structures that create the interconnectedness needed to move humanity forward to sustainability and a shared future of health for the majority of people on the planet.


Welcome to the New Heartland Blog!

PHoto credit: craig neal

PHoto credit: craig neal


We're working on this new blog to invite the larger circle of new leaders to gather...